Thursday, August 30, 2007

okay, okay, just a couple more photos and then back to horses, I promise!







These are pictures of two of my Aunt Kate's closest friends with me and my mom and her husband, Jerry. My aunt Kate died in a car accident when she was twenty-nine and I got to hear wonderful stories about her all day today. They all said I am a perfect combination between Kate, my mom, and my biological father, who was also a friend of theirs...

Oh yes, and one of the photographer and his girlfriend. Thank you Marc.

And one more of my brothers and sisters and me. They are most certainly the coolest people on the planet.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

funeral speech

I was the speaker at the mass for my grandpa's funeral....this is what I said:

To my grandpa:

I spent a great deal of time with my grandpa in the last years of his life, and I wanted to share just two things that I believe that he would think were important.

First, He would want everyone to know how much he truly loved my grandma. His wife, constant companion and friend, she was his reason for being. I was often the guest at my grandma’s for Sunday dinner. As she presented dish after dish of her amazing food, Grandpa would say to her, “Sit down, Mom.” And then he would tell me a story about her. About how she laughed at his jokes when they first met; about how every meal she served was better than the last; about her intelligence and thoughtfulness. And even though my grandma would be fussing over something on the other end of the kitchen, she heard him as he talked about how much and why he loved her. And he said these things to me because he knew she was listening and he wanted her to know how grateful he was to be sharing every day with the love of his life of sixty-two years.

Second, I will always cherish the memories of these last days I got to spend with my grandpa, when like so many times before, I felt like the most special, treasured person in the world. I know that my grandpa made all of his family members, friends, students, and colleagues feel this way. When you were in front of my grandpa, whether it was as his patient as he sat next to your bed, sitting across from him at the kitchen table, or even as a waitress serving him lunch, you mattered. My grandpa cared. He cared about the health and happiness of every single one of us, and to many others who could not be here today. He was so proud of all of us.

My dearest grandpa. I will never read the New York Times, or a dictionary, or a book of any kind without missing you terribly. You taught me to stand up for myself, to take the time to learn people’s names (first and last), that a dog really can be your best friend. You taught me that a life is never really over as long as you keep learning something new every day. You never knew how much your love, support, and praise meant to me and how much you will be missed by all of us.

Pictures of my family




From today. Thank you Jez and Maddie and Justin and Wamae for coming to the wake, and thanks to all of you who donated money in my grandpa's name. I cried when Jezzie told me.

Monday, August 27, 2007

My grandpa's obituary as published in the Columbus Dispatch

Robert Thomas Murnane
MURNANE Robert Thomas Murnane, MD, 85, beloved husband, father and grandfather, physician and lifelong student of science and medicine died August 26, 2007 following a brief illness. Dr. Murnane graduated from the St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Columbus and the University of Notre Dame. He completed medical school at The Ohio State University College of Medicine and served his internship residency at Mt. Carmel Hospital. He cared for his patients at Mt. Carmel and he was always grateful and respectful of the duty entrusted to him by those individuals. He was recognized on numerous occasions for his service to his patients and was named Physician of the Year at Mt. Carmel Medical Center in 1996. Dr. Murnane also cherished his time with the medical students and residents at Mt. Carmel and Ohio State University and retired as a Clinical Professor of Medicine at the latter institution. He was recognized with an Outstanding Clinical Teaching award from the medical students at Ohio State in 1982 and was elected to Alpha Omega Alpha honorary medical society by those same medical students. The Ohio State University awarded him their Distinguished Resident Alumnus for commitment to education and training programs in 1999. Following that in 2000, he was the first Mt. Carmel recipient of the Ohio State University College of Medicine Lifetime Achievement Award for physicians who have dedicated their professional lives to patient care and to educating Ohio State University medical students and residents. He also was named teacher of the year in the Department of Medicine at Mt. Carmel in 1964 and 1986/87. He was board certified in Internal Medicine and Geriatrics and he recertified at every opportunity. He was elected a Fellow of the American College of Physicians and was later recognized by the Ohio Chapter of the ACP with a Laureate Award in 1992. Dr. Murnane was a clinical investigator with grants to study vectorcardiography from the Central Ohio Heart Chapter of the American Heart Association and later served as President of that Chapter. Dr. Murnane was a kind and compassionate person and physician and he had an appreciation for the intellect and education of young people particularly but not limited to his own family. He founded and funded the Robert T. Murnane Travel Scholarship Fund at the Ohio State University which allows medical residents funds annually to travel and learn new medical techniques and information. Dr. Murnane's personal life was as full as his professional one. His marriage to Helen was a source of constant comfort to him. He adored his children and grandchildren and relished in their academic and professional accomplishments. He loved golf and was for years a member of Columbus Country Club. He was invited to join Muirfield Village Golf Club as one of its original members. He supported the Memorial Tournament through the Memorial Club. He served his country in the Armed Services in the Army as a private from 1943 to 1946 and was honorably discharged and then was commissioned in the Air Force in 1951 and served in St. John, Newfoundland until his tour of duty was completed in 1953 and he was honorably discharged as a Captain from the United States Air Force. Preceded in death by daughter Cathleen and parents Thomas and Agnes Fleming Murnane. Dr. Murnane is survived by his wife of 62 years, Helen; and their children, Tom (Kandy) Murnane, Michael (Rhonda) Murnane and Susan Neal (Jerry Dyer). Also surviving are grandchildren, Kevin, Kelly, Korey and Kacie Murnane, Katy, Claire and Cari Murnane, Kristen Hassen, Luke, Joey, Molly and Maddie Bolzenius. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Robert T. Murnane Travel Scholarship Fund at The Ohio State University Foundation, 1480 West Lane Ave., Columbus, Ohio 43221, Mount Carmel Hospice or Mother Angeline McCrory Manor. Arrangements later by EGAN-RYAN FUNERAL HOME, 403 E. Broad St. "Sign the online guestbook at www.dispatch.com/obituaries"

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Kristenland





Well, my grandpa died this morning at 1:30 am. I wrote a little bit about this on the HMAs weblog, so I won't say too much more here, except that I spend three hours with him and my mom and Marc and Jerry (my mom's husband) that was great and peaceful - I couldn't have wished for a better goodbye.

My love, Spike, has arthritis in his back leg and he will be moving on. But it hasn't made me all that sad, because I have found him the very best home in the whole world, with Melody Stacey, who owns Monty and Snowy (the two draft horses that we have in training). She is one of the most caring, responsible horse moms I have ever met and I will be able to go see Spike and now my other two favorite boys, Monty and Snowy, whenever I want to. Thank you so very much, Melody.

I am hoping to buy Maizy, who is at our barn on a lease for a couple of months. She is a special girl and I will be SO happy if I can figure out how to buy her!

Thanks you, all of my friends, for your support and kindness through this time. The services for my grandpa are Wednesday and Thursday and I promise I belong to the barn ALL the time after that! So sorry about all of the rescheduling that has had to take place over the past couple of weeks.

Now, for some pictures from the show yesterday...

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Today

What a great day at the barn. I had two very fun lessons, thanks to my students, and the weather was so perfect that I couldn't help but be happy. I went to see my grandpa. I took him Chinese food from the place he and my grandma went for thirty years. Every Wednesday at 4:30 pm. The owner was there and gave me the food for free. He said, 'just part of the aging process.' I bet he has known people who have died.

I am sort of like a death virgin - the entire experience of living through a loved ones' death is completely new to me. My mom says that when we lose someone close to us, it gives us an opportunity to mourn all of the other losses we have lived through. She is wise - that seems to be exactly what I am doing - missing all of the people, who for one reason or another, are no longer part of my life. She says it is a chance to process and feel grief for losses that we were never able to fully mourn in the past.

My mom is the best. She is beautiful, smart, funny, and one of my favorite people in the world. I feel very bad for her because she did not finish college and she works in a warehouse where she is constantly disrespected and treated like crap. She wants to be an administrator or sorts. Even a secretary. But she has my sister and brother at home (my sister is only 12) and I know that some days she just has to be there for them - if they get sick, or just need a mom. I want to do all I can to help her find a place to work where she is treated respectfully and with kindness. Anyone have any ideas? She is a classy lady with administrative and secretarial skills and experience. My goal this year is to help her get to a better place in her career. She has done SO much for me, that I feel like it is my turn to help her.

Question: What do you think about your riding instructor riding in lessons with you sometimes? I have been doing it the past couple of days and it has helped my students a lot. I am also able to chase people around the arena more easily. I think having a person to show you what they want you to do can be helpful. Anyone have any thoughts about this?

Going to camp for a week - leaving tomorrow. I am getting excited! I have to go pack some things and finish laundry. Please call me on my cell if there are any emergencies.....937-594-2955

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

family pictures





my grandparents, my mom, my sister maddie....



This is my grandma and grandpa. My grandpa is still dying, and it gets more sad and more difficult to see him every time I visit. I love both of them so very much. He cannot speak coherently, but he is at St. Theresa's, a very nice home/hospice in Bexley and my grandma gets to visit him twice a day. It is so frustrating because every time I go there, they are feeding him, which takes hours, and every time he tries to tell me something, they put another bite of food in his mouth.

I want to take him outside in the garden, but he is already fighting off pneumonia so I can't. My grandpa is the only father I have ever known. My own dad left when I was a baby and my grandpa has been the one who told me that I was extremely intelligent, that I could be anything I wanted to be, that I should never let people walk all over me. He knows I hate fights and conflicts and will run away rather than facing things, even when I should, and he always told me that I was worth it. He wanted everyone to know that I was special. He believed that I was.

He bought me the newest dictionaries every Christmas, and every time I saw him he would ask me to spell and define some impossible word he had looked up. He read the dictionary for fun. He always wanted to know two things about everyone in my life - the meaning of their last name and where they were from. On days when I was upset, he would ask me, "What is your primary worry?" What a great question - it made me cry every time.

I never thought I would hurt so badly over losing him. He did drive me crazy because he was also a little bit crazy himself. He always wanted to know my weight and never hesitated to tell me if I looked like I was eating too much. To say that he had a dislike for poor people would be an understatement - he was not exactly compassionate towards people who were different than him. He once called the CIA because he thought Al-Quaida was building a secret cell underneath his house and he was notoriously paranoid of any kind of perceived dangers - bad drivers, touching the pews at church or shopping carts at the grocery - either of which might have been contaminated by a person with a cold who carelessly chose to spread germs to the innocent, healthy shoppers and churchgoers. He had a terrible habit of repeating the same quotations and phrases over and over again, for months on end, without regard for his captive audiences, who had heard, "The knowledge of reality is secret knowledge" at least 160 times.

But my grandpa - he loved me and he still loves me. He is the only man in the world who I can say that about. He has loved me for my entire life. He was there when I was born, and I will be there when he dies, and I will never go to a bookstore or a doctor without a broken heart and an empty place where he has always been.

Monday, August 13, 2007